10 Tips to Survive a Couples Trip

Are you in a new relationship and getting ready to plan your first trip? This post is perfect for you! If you just started dating, are in a new relationships or situationship, or whatever you want to call it, specifically how you can get through your first trip together. 

Your first trip together can really be make or break for your relationship, so these tips will hopefully help it be a success, or help you realize you need to break up with him. And in this post I’m spilling the tea on planning, who pays, what to do, and how to manage expectations if it’s a new relationship and you do or do not want certain activities on the table.

Keep reading for 10 tips to survive your first couples trip!

Decide Who is Paying

So you are going to have to be honest with yourself and with your partner when talking about the money, and depending on your relationship and finances it can be a difficult conversation. Obviously I always prefer when a man pays, but that may not always be realistic unless you are dating men that are more wealthy and are also more generous. 

And do not confuse the two - just because has the money doesn’t mean he is going to be generous with spending it on you. My husband and I were international long distance when we first started dating, and he paid for several trips so we could see each other. And in each of those cases he made it very clear he was paying so there was no confusion. 

Once we established where we were going and when, he asked for my passport info so he could make the reservations and sent me the email confirmation so I would know it was done. There was never a conversation about what I was contributing or paying him back. So I think it’s safe to say that if your man hasn’t made it clear he intends to pay for the trip, then he probably isn’t planning to. So when you bring up the conversation, you can ask pretty simply - what should we budget for this trip, and plan something you can both afford. 

If you are both on similar budgets it should be easy to make a plan that will work for both of you. But if one person out earns the other, one has different financial obligations or whatever, there may need to be some compromise. And don’t assume that just because he makes more than you he is going to pay! If he doesn’t offer, have the grown up conversation and decide if you can even afford to travel and how much you can spend. 

Make Sure You Have Your Own Money

So even if you did establish he is going to pay for the trip, that doesn’t mean you show up with no money. You’re a grown up and you need to be prepared to handle some costs. 

You may want to offer to buy dinner or surprise him with a thoughtful souvenir. Or something could go wrong, like his credit cards could get hacked, you could get robbed, or he could just piss you off and make you want to dip. I recently posted a YouTube video on on being flewed out, and discussed this point as well. You need to be able to exercise your own autonomy, and having your own money allows you to do that. Make sure you have cash and credit cards that will work wherever you are going, just so you are prepared for everything. 

 Discuss A Budget in Advance

Discuss your budget in advance. If he is paying for it then you do not need to discuss the budget because it really is up to him. However if you guys have decided to split the cost of the trip, you need to consider how much you each can afford to spend. 

I remember a story trending on Reddit about a girl who was invited on vacation with her wealthy boyfriend and his family, but they expected her to contribute equally even though she was very low income and couldn’t afford it. That is completely unfair, and does not bode well for your relationship. Do not be that person, and if your man is acting like that person, dump him immediately and move on. Set a budget you can both afford, and plan your flights, accommodations and activities in advance to make sure you can both have fun within that budget. 

 Plan an Itinerary Based on Mutual Travel Styles

Speaking of activities, make sure you discuss an itinerary and consider each other’s travel styles. One of you may want to do more adventure activities that the other person isn’t interested in at all. One of you may want to do things that the other person really can’t afford. If you’re going on vacation together you should have some idea of each other’s interests, so do some research on different things to do in the destination and discuss some ideas. You also need to decide if you are even people that want to have a defined itinerary or just play it by ear, or a little bit of both. 

My husband could sit on the same beach for 7 days straight, I need more variety because I would be bored as hell. So we compromise when we travel and plan a balanced itinerary that we will both enjoy. And don’t be afraid to plan some time apart or do things exploring your separate interests. 

Be Prepared for Travel Related Mishaps

Number 5, understand that things will go wrong and be prepared for what that can mean. Travel can be fun and amazing, but can also be incredibly stressful. You could encounter anything from food poisoning, flight cancellations or even a natural disaster in the place you are visiting. And honestly, if something does go wrong it can really help you learn about each other in a way that you wouldn’t if everything was always perfect. It can also help you decide whether or not you even want to continue this relationship. 

Personally I have very low tolerance for men with tempers, and if I saw a man lose his shit at a slight inconvenience, berate a flight attendant for asking him to put a mask on, or anything ridiculous, obnoxious, or potentially violent, it’s a smooth no for me. And let’s say you do end up getting sick - does he care for you or go about his business and leave you to fend for yourself while he has fun? A trip together can be an amazing learning experience for you, and can either take your relationship to the next level or end it. It’s important to not expect things to be perfect, and to handle travel related mishaps without letting it ruin your trip. 

Establish Healthy Boundaries When Traveling As A Couple

Some people may believe otherwise, but just because you are on a trip with a man, and even if he pays for it, you are not obligated to have sex with him. 

Let me repeat, you are not obligated to have sex with him! You aren’t even obligated to share a hotel room with him if you aren’t sure you want to. It’s perfectly acceptable to maintain and enforce your own boundaries, whatever they may be. And you can also take note of how he handles you actually having some agency, which in a new relationship is incredibly important. Does he respect them or continuously push or disrespect you?

 Healthy Communication is Key

Communication is the foundation of really any healthy relationship. You guys should be in a place where you have healthy communications before you hop on a plane together, because if you can’t talk to each other at home, it’s going to be incredibly awkward when you’re together for a few days straight in a new city or country. 

Talk about what you want to do, any fears about travel in general or with him in particular.  Before you start planning a trip together you should be in a place where you feel comfortable and safe, are able to  have deep conversations, and express yourself, and feel like he listens and respects what you have to say. It doesn’t have to be deep soul-wrenching intense conversation, like if it is a new relationship you may not have fully opened up to each other in that way, or really been through anything crazy or unique together.

Decide How To Handle Social Media

Decide how you want to handle social media, in advance! You may have noticed that while I frequently travel with my husband, you have never seen him posted. We have a firm no social media policy, it works for us and makes sense. You may want to be posting pics of each other and he isn’t into it, or vice versa. Don’t automatically be offended or suspicious if he doesn’t want to post you. Some people may get in your head about it, but don’t let them, everyone has different attitudes about social media and he may have valid, not shady reasons for not putting you on his gram, or for letting you put him on yours. The key as I said above is communication! 

And obviously you want dope pics of yourself on your trip, but he may find playing Instagram boyfriend to be extremely annoying so be sensitive to that! He may be terrified of ending up on Influencers in the Wild, or just be a terrible photographer. I usually book an affordable photo shoot with a local pro to make sure I get great vacation pics and don’t make my husband go crazy. 

I usually use Snappr or AirBnB experiences, and plan my shoots for an hour or 2 early in the morning, like 8:30 or 9am, since the light will be softer and there are less crowds, and then we have the whole day to spend together. 

Don’t forget your snacks

This may sound silly but pack snacks! No one wants to get hangry on vacation and I feel like packing extra snacks isn’t something most men will think about. I always leave room in my purse for mini bags of chips or pretzels, bars, and jerky since they come in handy at the airport, but also on your trip. 

Not every hotel has vending machines, you may end up on a full day tour and need a bite to eat, or you may make the fatal mistake of not timing your meals around the hours most restaurants are open. For example, in most of Europe a lot of the restaurants close for a 3 hour block in between lunch and dinner, and if you didn’t eat before they closed, you’ll be left out starving or trying to find a McDonalds. So pack some snacks, and trust me he will thank you if you guys need them!

Make it a Short Weekend Trip

And finally, if this is your first trip together - make it a short one! We’re talking 3 day weekend max, preferably somewhere with a short direct flight. You may not have spent more than a day or 2 together, much less an entire week in a new environment. 

It can be intense and emotional, so a short trip is an easier way to warm up to how you travel together and the potential positives or shortcomings of your future relationship. If things go well you can happily start planning a longer itinerary for the future, if they go poorly, at least you didn’t waste too much time. 

And making it a short, easy trip will reduce some of the stress and pressure or potential for things to go wrong, like missing a flight due to a lot of connections, being bored on a long layover, or having to kill too much time if this trip starts to get awkward on day 2. 

If you have any more tips or a fun or interesting couples trip story, leave me a comment below! And happy planning!